This week on Margot Ana: A fun and educational story for the whole family on Tinder; what you should know, what to expect and letting go of its stigma.
I got on Tinder probably around mid to late December last year (not a date I really noted in my diary you know, sorry for the vagueness). Before that point, I had mixed views about Tinder. I'd beg my friends who were on Tinder to get off it, but then I would bad-date-bail-out them and relish in their hilarious stories. I would tell them it was so shallow, but then I would have insane amounts of fun helping them in rejecting 3/4 of their matches. One day, I was sprawled onto my best friend's bed, whining about matters of the heart when she enthusiastically suggested I get on Tinder, 'It's so fun Margot, seriously you will love it,' she said. I decided it couldn't be too bad, I mean a few of our friends were definitely enjoying it, so why not. The worst outcome at this point was that I'd hate it and consequently delete the application. So I joined – and boy was it fun. I went on some dates, I met some cool people (I met some weird people too), some I let into my social world (shout out to the new instagram followers) and some I opted to not see again. Now we've all heard the mixed stories about Tinder. You hear about that cute couple who have been together for almost a year now and how they met on Tinder. But then you also hear stories about the über weird dates and how there was that one dude who was desperately looking for his future life partner and he wouldn't stop quizzing you about your genes, how many kids you want to have and wether or not he should prepare for a family pet. But that's someone else's story to tell.
So now, as a recently retired Tinder veteran – that's right I deleted Tinder – let me give you some insight into some things I learnt; a combination of my own and others' experiences.
WHAT TO EXPECT vs. WHAT NOT TO EXPECT
When it comes to Tinder, it's best not to expect to find your future husband/wife/partner. Great if you do, that could happen, sure, but maybe don't go into it thinking you'll meet the mother of your children. Furthermore, when it comes to swiping right, try to resist the urge to say yes to everybody just so you can see who likes you and who doesn't. I know getting a match feels awesome and fun... but having to unmatch 138 people because you were curious, isn't the best way to spend your evening. Once you do get a match you legitimately wanted, prepare to be completely unsure of how to proceed. Oh yes. I have been there – I believe for a while 'Hey :)' was my go-to before I, you know, developed actual wit and banter. And don't expect everyone to message you either, sometimes people just like to have their matches sit there like weird little trophies. Now, if you're a lady after the ladies, brace yourself for the exhaustion of all the matches in your area. It's absolutely wonderful and not at all frustrating. Tinder is 60:40, men to women. Of those women, only a fraction are gay. See what I'm saying? If, however, you're a straight female, I would get yourself ready for your share of obscene messages laden with profanities. Come on, it's only the 21st century, did we really expect any progression?
There will be weirdos. There might be some successful dates. The upside to either of them is you'll improve your social skills especially in the area of small talk. The way I always looked at it was, if it goes well, then that's good for you, and if it doesn't you will have ranting material for your friends or at least a hilarious story to tell. Go into it with low expectations, the first date is always the worst. And speaking from experience (sadly), don't get carried away planning too many dates in your week. You will get emotionally exhausted. Do you know how tiring it is to get to know someone and then do it all over again with another stranger two days later?! It's very tiring, 2/10 would not recommend (the 2 is for the free coffee or drink you hopefully enjoyed).
There's always been a bit of stigma surrounding internet dating. And Tinder is just that, if you think about it. But it might just be time to let go of that stigma. We aren't Napoleon Dynamite's older brother who "talks to hot babes on the internet all day". We aren't Debbie making an eHarmony video about her love for cats. We live modern fast-paced lives, sometimes we just don't have time to meet people organically, and court them, and maybe work up the courage to confess our feelings to them. Tinder is convenient, and if this era we are in is anything it's the Age of Convenience. Embrace it.
A lot of people also don't like the idea of Tinder as a whole, mostly because it promotes a superficial and shallow approach to dating. I find this a bit comical because in my head, people have always dismissed the "unworthy" based on looks, especially in the dating world. Sometimes it's a combination of personality and looks. This is not a new concept, we're just being more honest about it. Dating has always been ruthless and shallow. It's the relationships that are wholly accepting and see your inner beauty. Sex and the City taught me that (Charlotte and Harry, I'm looking at you).
I hope you found my Tinder insight helpful, maybe entertaining and perhaps even makes you a bit curious to try it out for yourself. I don't know if I would recommend it as this incredible dating tool that will have you meeting cutie after cutie after eligible bachelor/ette, but it's not completely bad and I wouldn't not recommend it... So there's that I guess. Who knows, Tinder might even do you a solid and you'll meet someone totally rad. (I did)
// Margot Ana